couple weeks, no month, ugh, two months have been so challenging for me at work. It’s taken a toll on our relationship and my own mental status. He’s had to deal with my long hours at work and at home, less and less time together, me being scatterbrained, my emotional neediness, my depression, my body reacting to all the stress with a sensitive stomach and poor sleep.
And while he’s tried to encourage me to stand up for myself more at work, I’ve been reluctant and, quite honestly, didn’t want to hear it. I didn’t need a solution, I just needed support. And that he gave me, in overwhelming amounts during this time in our relationship.
When I didn’t want sex (unfortunately, little sex has been had the past couple months): “Ok honey, can you hand me the lube and come lay on my chest?” And I would curl up in the spot where my head fits on his left shoulder. With his left arm he’d hold me while he masturbated with his right hand.
When I started looking for jobs that would require a huge cross-country move, “I’ll move anywhere you need to go, as long as you’re happy.”
When I wanted to blog instead of play video games with him, “As long as you’re having fun, that’s what’s important.”
When I asked him to make more than his fair share of dinners, “Ok…. what do you want? Do you want me to start it when you’re leaving work?”
When I worked really late at the office and he had to be up at 4am for work the next morning, he’d stay up until I got home and then spend an hour cuddling my legs on the couch while I worked on my laptop.
When I would change my mind at the last minute about our plans because I was too exhausted/disinterested in/distracted by something else to do it, “Are you sure? Ok… what do you want to do? Tell me what would make you happy.”
When I cried or was nearly inconsolable from frustration, “I love you…. you’re my hardworker. You work too damn hard, but I still love you.” And then he’d shower me with kisses and hugs.
When I complained about my body/weight, “Stop it. You’re beautiful and I love you the way you are.”
When I wanted to binge watch The Walking Dead and then not watch it for three weeks because I was so terrified of the gore I had nightmares, “So…. are we watching Orange is the New Black, then? Maybe I’ll just watch Walking Dead while you’re at work…. OK, I wont.”
Could I endure alone? Yes. But the journey is so much easier with him by my side and with his love and supportive acceptance of me. Ideally, that’s how a relationship is supposed to work. Relationships are built on so many building blocks and support during stressful times is one of them.
I’ve been in a relationship where the support was lacking or entirely missing. It completely sucks and it feels like you are alone… except someone is wondering why you are unhappy all the time.
Remember to acknowledge your partner’s support. So often it can be taken for granted or assumed to be normal. We shouldn’t ever assume… it’s good to be grateful for the support. It’s even better when you acknowledge that to your partner. Part of paying it back is verbally acknowledging what they do for you.