Oct 192013
 

FISTING.

fisting day sticker

Fisting Day sticker by Nomy Lamm

I didn’t know what this word was two and a half years ago. I stumbled it across it when I started looking following Jiz Lee on twitter. (I found Jiz Lee through Violet Blue, who was key in my journey into sex positivity — a story for another day.)  Through Jiz Lee I found Courtney Trouble and her fantastic brands of queer porn.

And then there was fisting. Another piece of my kink fell into place.

I didn’t have to experience fisting to know I wanted to do it and that I would enjoy it. For me, it was amazing, raw female sexual power and expression and I knew that I wanted to do it.

The first annual Fisting Day was approaching in a few weeks, so I did my research on fisting and we set our first experience to take place that first sexual holiday. There are a lot of excellent resources out there if you’re looking for fisting instructions. Here’s a brief list I’ve found helpful:

Fisting infographic  – great starting instructions
Fisting 101 with a FAQ section
Fisting explained in 5 min (video)
Before & After photos of fisting (on a first-timer)

How did our first fisting experience go? Pretty well, actually. We didn’t get all the way in, just up to his four knuckles where they met his palm. I felt so full and it was completely pleasurable. Here is what we learned:

  • Do not underestimate the importance of warm-up and relaxation. Whether this means you have an orgasm first or just a lot of foreplay, the key is to get turned on and not just a little bit, but a lot. If you’re stressing about being fisted or being ready, your muscles will involuntarily clench on you and you’ll be fighting your own body.
  • LUBE. When they say use lots and then add more, that’s right. If you’re using water based lube, it will dry up over time and reapplications will be necessary both inside and out.
  • Communication – its important for both partners to talk and ask questions. Watch faces, listen carefully, study your partner.
  • Gloves do make things safer, even if you are fluid bonded. Gloves will help lessen the risk of nails scratching (ouch!) and they offer some reduced friction to the vagina with the addition of lube.

Since our first time fisting in 2011, we’ve tried fisting a few more times. We still haven’t been able to get his hand all the way in my vagina. Perhaps one day, we’ll make it there…. or we’ll find someone with smaller hands.

Monday is the 3rd annual Fisting Day, we’ll be fisting again. It’s a day for celebration of sexuality, and raising a fist up to the censorship around fisting.

Jiz Lee has written an extensive explanation on why fisting is considered obscene and is missing from mainstream porn.

If you don’t have a partner to participate in fisting (or if its not your specific kink), you can still celebrate the day by spreading the word and visiting the official website of Fisting Day to read the posts, watch a live stream, find fisting porn, and see who else is participating.

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