Introducing me, as myself. For the first time.
My name is L. Elizabeth Sengele and today is not only my 29th birthday, it’s my official “coming out from anonymity” day. I am a sex-positive, kinky, bisexual woman who wants to talk, teach, consult, educate, discuss, and challenge the status quo of sexuality. I’ve come a long way from the ultra-conservative background of virgin on the wedding night to someone who acknowledges and is comfortable with her own sexuality.
I’ve embraced who I am and become happy with it. From self-dislike and fear have come self-acceptance and trust in my own self. I’m stronger because I know who I am.
I’ve always had that feeling in the back of my mind that if I just had the GUTS to embrace who I am/who I want to be, I would be happier. But how could I become that person?
Fear has been eating me for years. I’ve written before about how I felt like I’d been drained of the opportunity for the career I’d wanted. For years I’ve felt like my personal life choices had shunted me to my 3rd option job (which means, I hate it). And for years, this has held true.
I couldn’t when I was with my ex. If I wasn’t living my private life authentically, I’d never make it publicly. I had no idea that getting divorced and meeting FHF and consequently starting twitter and then this blog would result in the type of growth I’d been aching for. Over the past two and a half years I’ve really become much more of the person I want to be.
I started writing this blog for two reasons. First, It was the easiest way for my brain to process the radical changes in my life – from the extreme sex negative life I led to the extreme acceptance I’ve now found. It’s been so much fun to document and write all the delicious details. But more importantly, I knew my story was not an isolated one. I’m not the only one who’s been mismatched in sex and love. I’m not the only one who thought love would win out, only to realize that love is much more complicated than I’d ever imagined. What if writing my journey could inspire someone else to look for their authentic self?
My journey is far from over. This is a changing in the direction of my life, my purpose. I’m not here just to share the sexy escapades we have (although I still intend to occasionally). I’m here to say that I, in public and private, am here to explore and hopefully inspire others to find their sexual happiness as well.
You’ll notice there’s a new tab at the top of my blog entitled “Consultations.” This is the career I’ve wanted and I’ve been seriously considering this for years with the details coming into focus over the past several months. So, I’m going for it.
I’m scared of a lot of things in doing this. I’m scared of what will happen if/when my co-workers find this blog… my friends… my parents (!). I’m scared of being rejected, scared of failure, scared of not knowing what to do. I’m scared of being judged and scorned and written off as a nobody.
I do not care.
I don’t have to hide anymore as there’s no one to hide from — except myself. I’m done running from me and hiding me. I’ve hated hiding details and living what felt like two separate lives. Today, these lives come together.
So, nice to meet you. I’m Elizabeth.