Something I did not expect happened to me in May. I was offered a chance at a new life. It was presented in the form of a change switch: switch departments with a coworker and have some of the change I’ve been asking for from my work. Ok then.
I had no idea it was going to be so life-changing for me. I didn’t move desks or even titles. I just switched responsibilities and my life was free. The change wasn’t immediately felt. It took weeks of transition and training to get to something new…. and there it was.
Something I hadn’t quite experienced at this level for more than two years.
I knew my life was out of balance, but I had no idea just how much it was until I actually came home from work – during the week – and found out I was bored. I had nothing to do! No work during the week in the evenings? Home by 7p every night? No full day of work during the weekend?
What am I going to do with myself?!
For the first week or so, I came home and just plopped on the couch, bored. I was not used to this free time and felt helpless. My fiance tried to make suggestions: paint, read, play a game, clean, laundry, draw, go shoe shopping, suck his penis, etc etc. It was so weird: so many choices and I had no idea which one to pick.
It wasn’t like any of them were the wrong choice, just that I wasn’t used to have any choice at all. Faced with so many choices, I froze.
I haven’t had a choice in a couple of years.
When I started this blog a year and a half or so ago, I spent my weekends writing 2-3 entries while my fiance was ignored for most of a Saturday. It became a problem so I pulled back and writing and the number of entries and my stats reflected that. The past eight or six months have been a dreadful pause on writing; but I, as one person, can only do so much.
And now that I’m in a new department, I can breathe again! Live again! I was speaking with a coworker about this and found myself saying, “Yeah, I have time for a hobby again” and I just stopped speaking. What’s a hobby?
I cannot believe I’ve been living life of 60-70 hour work weeks for so long, I’ve given up on any sort of hobby. Or life.
I have (or will have) a life again! I have no idea what to do with all of this time — but surely I will find a way to occupy myself, right?
Step one: catch up on blogging.