I write this blog in relative anonymity. In a way, I really hate having to do this. I love to be honest and just talk and share about sex and sexual experiences. I don’t have a problem sharing, yet I suspect others see me as unwilling or disinterested. A couple of years ago, I was compared to “Charlotte” from SATC because, apparently, I’m viewed as very proper and not very kinky at all. If only they knew…
I’ve actually told 2 real life friends about this blog. The reception has been better than I really expected.
First I told a friend from college who I had actually shared a bit of my private life with before I even started my blog. I know her to be very open minded and I knew she would be understanding if not accepting of my writing. As it turns out, she really likes (possibly love) my blog. She identifies as queer and I love talking sexuality with her. I thought she would only take a look at it, but I think she’s become a (semi) regular reader.
Then I told my sister. I really wasn’t sure if she’d be interested, but one day I just blurted out “So I’m a sex blogger” and I didn’t get much of a reaction. A few months later I mentioned it again and she wanted more details. A few days later, I sent her the blog link.
Within minutes I was getting all sorts of questions. What’s pegging? What do you think of ____? What do you recommend for a vibe? What about lube?
And the floodgates of communication opened like I had always wanted but was unsure could happen. We can fully talk about sex and toys… it was such an awesome day when she told me that she no longer felt awkward talking to me about sex. She calls for advice and no question is off limits.
We don’t share intimate details (OK, well I do on the blog…). At the most we share topics of how often, what we like, what we did, how sex fits into our normal routines. I’ve given her topic previews of what is coming up on the blog. Some things she wants to hear, others give her pause with a reaction like, “What? You had a guy over and pegged him? Wow.”
There’s no judgement. Not everything is a shared interest, but that would just make our conversations boring.
I couldn’t have hoped for a more positive response from my college friend or my sister (my best friend). I’d love to share with a few more friends who I think might be open to my perspective, but I’m not rushing things. For now I really enjoy my anonymity and I have no intention of just outing myself to the world (however fun the initial shock might be).
In reality, it took a leap of faith for my college friend to come out to me and then for us both to share about sexuality and our personal experiences. The same could be said for my sister. If either had had a negative reaction it wouldn’t have changed a thing, but I’ve gained so much in return. The most important is being valued for my true self, which is the best I think anyone could hope for.
On a final note, the funniest thing that’s been said about my blog: “Now I know you’ve been naked on everything, especially your couch. I don’t want to sit on it now.”
My response, “Hey, we haven’t spilled any bodily fluids on it!”