Before our relationship even started, we agreed that we both wanted to have the opportunity to play with others of our same sex. We’re both bisexual and we both want to enjoy that side of our sexuality. Our only rule was we wanted to be present, ie, he could watch me with another woman (but not participate) and vice versa.
We both want to “play” with someone we can trust. I am not a “meet you then fuck you 5 minutes later” person. I need a relationship. I need to know who you are and like/love you. For me, sex and orgasms don’t happen outside of this arena of caring. I want to make sure that whatever sexual experience we have, there will be kissing and cuddling which are not random experiences for me. I also want to make sure I am with someone who I can trust when they say they are drug/disease free. I don’t want to worry and doubt. I want honesty. I want a personal relationship. I want to know what makes you laugh and how to make you giggle. I want to share our more than just my bed, but also some of my normal life.
We haven’t done any experimenting yet, really. We’ve been far too interested in each other. We also are not sure where/how to look. I haven’t had time to explore FetLife; I’m not sure it’s the place for me. We’re both naturally shy and its hard for us to meet someone, much less meet someone to start this kind of relationship. And really, we’re in no rush. We’ve enjoyed the past year together. We have many, many years ahead of us. Why rush into this?
But then there is twitter. There are many amazing, sexy women and couples that offer potential. I’ll fully admit to flirting with women on there (you know who you are) and using some of them in my fantasy life (I don’t think I’ve told them about it…). There are singles and couples who have asked to join us or be a part of our sex life. It’s all very flattering to be so desired. I’ve never been so wanted in my entire life.
Most of the time I’m propositioned it’s by men or by a couple. No one has lived near me to be a possibility geographically, so I consider these invites pretty harmless and unreal. It’s never a serious consideration. But then there’s one couple we’ve started to crush on.
But the interest has expanded from girl-girl and guy-guy. Once my BF got to know the man of the couple pretty well and the man expressed interest in me (although he certainly wants the BF more), my BF told me he wanted me to fuck the guy! I was shocked – SHOCKED. He has been so strong on his stance that no man would ever fuck me, and now he wants me to be fucked by another guy? Not only does he want me to be fucked by the guy, he wants the man to cum in me so my BF can lick me clean. Creampie cleanup!
I’ve also been granted clearance to flirt with him…it makes my BF jealous, but also turned on and horny. He likes it.
A few weeks ago, somewhat randomly and suddenly, we skyped with them. Naked. We didn’t do anything on camera except a little kissing and fondling; we mostly talked. But the ideas and mutual want for a meeting and fun together is on the table and we want to explore further.
In a way, I’m very flattered. I’m flattered that the man wants me, I’m flattered his wife is OK with it, and I’m extremely flattered my BF trusts both of us to be OK with it. I’m turned on. I never thought this would be on the table. Never.
But then the question is raised, what about his wife? She and I are certainly ready to tear into each other, but she has expressed interest in my BF and he is certainly interested in her. But I am not sure I am comfortable and OK with that. I have an insane jealous streak and while I am secure in my relationship, I don’t like the idea of my BF getting off due to physical contact with another woman. I have no problem with porn, but I prefer he look at gay or TS porn rather than women. I do not like him flirting with women on twitter. I understand his appreciation for women on tumblr and even this beautiful woman, but the thought of him fucking her or her sucking him off makes me… jealous. sad. lonely. I don’t think I can do it.
I’m trying to reconcile these feelings of jealousy with reality. I really have no fear of losing him; I’m not sure what my feelings are.
I never considered myself to be a swinger, but that is certainly the direction we are heading. I’m totally OK with this. Our fantasy life often brings up different things we would do with this couple and others. For now, the rules are changing and our boundaries are expanding. Who knows what might happen when geography is not an issue? I’m not sure. I do know that anyone who will be with us will have a relationship with both of us. And we both get a veto option. Because, ultimately, its about us in the end.