Every evening we are normally on our computers in the office. He is normally gaming while I am blogging, catching up on emails, or writing. (Blogging takes a lot of time!) We’re always chit chatting and constantly interrupting the other with hugs, kisses, and sexy comments that turn the other on and disrupt concentration (another reason blogging takes so long).
Last night “the look” came up somehow. He feigned ignorance and I reminded him, “You know, THE LOOK. The one we have when we’re having sex sometimes… that look.” He couldn’t play dumb for long, as the smile broke out across his face. Yes, he’s aware of the look.
The look doesn’t always make its appearance. Frequently his face his buried in my breasts or in my neck kissing me during sex. My eyes are typically close as I cannot keep them open while I’m orgasming or even close to an orgasm. But sometimes, with an effort… the look happens and when it does, I don’t see anything but him.
It starts when we lock eyes. And then it stays. And for some breaths it says. We kiss, and our eyes are open, looking, staring. He is thrusting or I am rocking but the other is stopped, transfixed in time. The mouths are open, but there are no words. Just shallow breathing. Shared air.
The best sex either of us have had in our lives was in January. I came home from work stressed out beyond recognition. I went straight to bed and started crying. He was there with me, holding me to him, letting me wet his shirt in my tears. He held me so very tight that day. He kissed my forehead and my cheeks. He told me he would be there for me, it would work out. It was OK. As I calmed down his kisses started moving closer to my mouth and then down my neck. What followed was the most passionate, moving, and incredible sex I’d ever imagined possible.
The look first made its appearance there. At one point I was riding him in cowgirl and I was moving very slowly. His hands were on my back and I was bent over him. Our eyes were locked for what felt like hours. The emotional state of the room was intoxicating. I remember looking at him and thinking this was the most beautiful, joyous, ardent moment of my life. I never wanted it to end. Then he said, “I want this to last forever.”
What followed was so intimate and so beautiful I didn’t tweet about it and I won’t describe it here. Its ours. Forever.
Every once in a while that look resurfaces. It may be for a few moments, it may just be for a second. The longer we hold it, the more intense the sex becomes. Sometimes he orders me to look at him, or our eyes meet by accident and we both hold it.
The look surfaced last night. It wasn’t planned, even though we talked about it. We just looked. And looked. And then he breathed “I love you” to me. I almost started crying – it was so intense, and I was so freaking happy. I managed to say it back, barely. We kissed, lips just touching. Our mouths were open, lips touch, and we shared breath as he fucked me slowly, our eyes still locked. I broke into a smile, and he asked me why I was smiling. My eyes pricked with tears again. I lost my words.
He buried himself in my neck and kissed me and kissed me.